How to handle children who talk back – Parents and children often clash at each other and the conversation escalates into confrontation if neither stops to understand the other’s viewpoint.
You many notice that when your child comes to certain age like 9 to 13, they start to answer you back and disobeys what you say.
When children talk back or refuse what the parents say, parents feel their authority is being challenged.
How to handle children who talk back
Try these suggestions for the child who always answers back.
Occasional spurts of talking back need not be reprimanded, providing your child is not disrespectful. Expect talking back during developmental stages when your child shows spurts of independence. A child needs to learn how to make his point without being rude.
Know the difference between Disrespect and Spunk
There is a fine line between disrespect and spunk. Any comment or request from you that is perceived by them as unfair will cause them to naturally go on the defensive. When you are asking your kid to come and get into the car, and when he/she is asking you to wait and they run back home to get something’s, is not disrespect. They are learning a sense of social fairness.
Being open to your child’s defense (as long as it is respectful) conveys that you are willing to listen and respect the child’s viewpoint. This sets the stage for opening avenues of communication with a teenager.
Don’t escalate the situation
If the talking back is becoming disrespectful and more frequent, evaluate your whole parent-child relationship instead of escalating the situation. Check what went wrong
- Is your child angry about something in his situation or with you?
- Is a distance developing between the two of you?
- Have you been so preoccupied lately that your child has to shout and make a nuisance of herself to get you to listen to her?
It’s inventory time in the parenting business again.
If you and your child are shouting at each other and a wall is going up between you, either send your child for time-out or take time-out yourself. Tell them you need a break or ask them to sit quietly for sometime. When you have both calmed down, ask your child’s viewpoint again. Present your viewpoint and together arrive at a conclusion.
End with a hug
Whatever the argument is, it is your child and your child needs your attention. Once Your child gets the message that disrespect (from both parties) is counterproductive and unwise, give him/her a hug, so that they know that you care for them.